Lab Gas Tragedy.

These days I’m busy working at a Toxicology Research Lab. Being a part of the assigned college curriculum, I am compulsorily supposed to be here until I get done with something worth a project.

No, it’s not one of a this-is-what-I-do kinda post, more to it.

Well working at a lab isn’t too lively a thing. This one particularly, because of the simple fact that we do our studies on rodents. (Okay, don’t sue me all you animal lovers! It could be you, instead.)
Though it’s been quite an experience working on them: picking them up by their tails, holding them by their ears, taking their weights and feeding them with drugs given in honey. Don’t pity, because those (b)rats love it most of the time, except for when the drug surpasses the sweetness of honey. In the latter case, they scream and even try biting you off. Inspite of it all, you still ought to feed them with food on time, make sure they have enough of water throughout the day and so on. Parents would understand it better I guess.

No, it’s not even a this-is-how-rats-behave kinda post, more to it.

(By the way, due to dealing with rats since the last so many days, my Mom now calls me when she sees a dead rat after the Mortein Rat-Kill effects. Life’s certainly turned hell with this research!)

So coming back to it, last week we had a terrible accident in our lab. (Yes, I did a Facebook status update and now a blog post to it! xD)
To start with the day, we reached the ‘Animal House’ the first thing in the morning, as always, to check up with the water level and food content in the cages. No sooner did we step in, the stench made it enough for us to almost retrace our steps but responsibility took its toll. We rushed in and as soon as we checked those cages, we got the source of the wonderful odour.
Dead Rats!
We went to report it to the seniors and got the expected "Oh My God!", "What?", "How?" and "All your fault!" out there. That was one of the total chaotic moments in the lab. They rushed in and out trying to chalk out the reason for the sudden deaths. Drug overdose, maybe?

One more thing to add to the Rat behavioral chart, they exhibit cannibalism, which means eating their own kind. Okay I know I’ve done dissections in my Zoology lab, but the yucky part there was nowhere compared to seeing half body parts lying about in the cage. Gross!

Fine, I’ll spare you the gory details.

However, standing there with the bile trying its best to gush out, I tried distracting my mind and gave a casual remark, "It’s damn hot! Whatever happened to the air conditioners out here? I thought they’re supposed to be always switched on."

My remark was met with absolute shocking stares from almost ten to-be-called-doctors.

I don’t particularly enjoy being the centre of attention, for heaven’s sake!
"Umm…What? You guys cold?"

"It’s the air conditioner! That’s why they died!", came the completely out-of-sync chorus.

Well no surprises there... considering the heat, I was close to death myself.

After the commotion died and people returned to their senses, the guy who looks after the cleaning of that room, Shankar, was summoned at once. He came with a cup of chai in his hand. When asked about it, he said in a very relaxed tone, "Yeah, there was a problem with the AC few days back. The servicing was due since the last 15 days but I thought kuch din aur chal jaaega."

The researchers there were baffled. They had their experiments going on since 6-7 months. All of it gone down the drain, or rather, all of it wrapped up in paper bags and kept right there in one corner with their limbs and/or heads hanging out.
Ugh! The bile again!

After a bit of more expression of utter disbelief, they arrived to the conclusion that the tragedy had occurred over the night and there wasn’t much that could be done then. They all agreed that the best way to get off this mayhem was by giving the families of the deceased a good compensation. (Even if those families ate their dead relatives' heads off, they were indeed a family!)

The compensatory amount included trainees (count me there) transferring them to a clean cage having some fresh husk, nice food, clean bottles, fresh water, air conditioners switched to a good temperature and no drug for the next few days. Life was no less than heaven for the living ones. Had it been possible for those seniors, they would have even made us rock those rodents to sleep with the aid of a lullaby!

Anyway, the next day Shankar was put in the trial room, where he repeated his previous day statement with utmost ease. As soon as I heard him, I expected a good scene there and got pretty sure that hell is waiting for him. But surprisingly enough, noone dared to object his action, perhaps because of the fact that he was the one who took up all the responsibility of those animals over the entire weekend.

As he came out of the room, victorious, I asked him if his last name was Anderson.

He asked me the reason for it, to which I replied, "It was a gas tragedy, accompanied by a massacre and then such an easy escape for you. Trust me, you’ve got all the traits of being an Anderson!"

As it’s usual with my words, he got nothing of it. He simply stared and blinked a couple of times.

I sighed and heading towards the animal house, started wearing my gloves to give those sleepy creatures their share of compensation, Day 2.
After all, this is all they get!

The 'Saurus' Quotient

‘Saurus’ is a Greek word for Lizard, and it has been most commonly used in the names of reptile-like creatures that once thrived on Planet Earth, Dinosaurs. The common names being Megalosaurus, Spinosaurus, Tyrannosaurus and so on; notice the saurus part in all these names. However here I’m not at all interested in discussing evolution before or after the Jurassic period. (Can’t help not using the geeky part!)
What I’d want to mention here is something equally terrible, equally dreadful and as huge as these Dinosaurs.

The name of my post says it all, The ‘saurus’quotient, or simply, Thesaurus quotient!

Yes, the same li’l (?) book that contains all those similar meaning words placed together, which has no better a use than to be looked upon while playing Scrabble or solving Crosswords. It has some irritating magical powers to convert the simplest of all monosyllabic words into such polysyllabic alternatives which can scare even the bravest of the lot to death. This saurus is even worse than the Tyrannosaurus for the simple reason that it’s not extinct, yet!

To be honest I appreciate people who love words and put them into use. Kudos guys! But what I flounder comprehending is the ulterior motive which reclines in instigating the dispensable adhibition of such words as a part of a perfunctory conversation. Err…in better words, why the heck should you use such words while having a casual talk? Use them to flatter your English professors!

Infact what I dislike (and the reason behind this post) is the fact that almost all the aspiring poets these days write poems which can never be deciphered until you fall in love with a thesaurus. I had been going through few poems lately and c’mon guys, why so serious? I mean even the most famous and memorable of all poems have been as simple as reading your own thoughts. Frost, Keats, Milton or even Shakespeare, all used simple words and transformed them into pieces that struck a chord with the readers immediately; that’s where the beauty of a poem lies. Have a look at some of the famous works:

But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.

Or

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n.

See, who says plain casual words can’t bring about the impact? Here, as I go about these lines I can draw out the meaning and interpret it beautifully, rather than looking up for the words in thesaurus and in the end flipping the poem away!

Today, the way these budding poets are using the esteemed word list, the poems might change completely.
Take a part of the famous poem ‘The Road Not Taken’,

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

This would be rewritten by modern day poets as,

I shall be concurring this with a suspire
Somewhere aeons and aeons subsequently:
Two boulevards swerved in a wood, and I--
I acquired the one meagerly perambulated by,
And that has begotten all the distinctness.

A great display of your rich vocabulary, I’d say, but *poof* disappeared the simplicity of the poem, that it is most remembered for. ‘Unsaid words speak the best’ might be an exaggeration, but simple words touching your heart certainly do convey the best.

More than for these poets I actually feel bad for the kids, for when these thesaurus obsessed people become teachers, guides and parents they might even modify the utterly simple ‘Jack and Jill’ nursery rhyme into something on the lines of:

Jack and Jill trekked up the hummock,
To fetch a repository of water,
Jack plummeted down and wrecked his crown,
And Jill came hurtling after.

Yeah, though it might be interesting to listen to the tiny-tots singing or rather pronouncing this down!

However in the evolution of English as a language, I just hope the Jurassic period of the reign of the-saurus ends as soon as possible and that era arrives where simple, sensible, syntactically sound sentences flourish. Err…just the grammatically correct ones I meant! ;)

Welcome Me! ;)

So, I’m finally starting my own blog. Yay! :D
Yes, be surprised, be shocked.

I know starting a blog is pretty much last decad’ish, but blame my extraordinary talent at procrastination for the extreme delay. Even my previous attempts at it got buried under the dust of time, or wait, was it just the dust? Yeah, actually the latter I guess. But 'dust of time' somehow seems more apt for something as important as a blog, rather than saying plain ol’ dusty dust. Yeah, what a mess. So dust of time, it is.

However, finally my laptop has given up, declaring ‘No Free Space Available’, clearly indicating that I have to get myself a new place to whine, rant, and scribble, and later on laugh upon them all.
Now before one of you technically sound people start giving me advice on how to deal with the space issue, I better mention the other reason for being here. The most important one that is, being ‘forced-and-convinced-by-friends’.
Though I wouldn’t mind flattering myself thinking they were keen on reading what I manage to write in here, but perhaps it had more to do with keeping me busy in one way or the other! I hope they succeed and instead of keeping this off my priority list yet again, I do keep on updating this space every now and then. :)

Well well…and it’s now that I realize, it would have been great had I made a grand entry with some flashy post, but *sigh* guess it would have to wait until I get a hang of this place! ;)