You Were Not There...

(Not-so-little something I had written on Feb 15, 2010. All junk to be kept here!)

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Yesterday it was the 14th of February, Valentine's Day. A day to celebrate love.

Love was certainly in the air, blossoming and spreading its fragrance around. The world must have appeared to be a beautiful place to the ones in love. Promises were made with hope and a silent wish alongside, to be kept till eternity.

But it was all meaningless for me because the thing that meant the most wasn't there!

When there were roses and dates,

When people had talks of their fates,

When cute cards were being given

When past follies were being forgiven

All this while what I missed the most

Were neither the hills, nor the coast.

I asked my heart for a little clue,

It skipped a beat and said it was YOU.

You had been so synonymous with this day that I had never, even in my worst nightmare, imagined this day without you. You had given Valentine's Day an altogether new meaning. However, this time you were not there.

I closed my eyes and tried bringing the past years' celebrations before me. Your innovation and spontaneity always caught me off guard! Whenever I thought this would be the limit, you always pushed the bars to higher levels, making me laugh my heart out. But no matter what, this year you were not there.

I was determined to look out for you. My heart said you must be out there somewhere… in the crowd, in the shadows, in seclusion, anywhere. On my way, I found couples cuddling, expressing their love, making the day special for their loved ones.

I went to the Sea face, where the waves were crashing down any sense of contact of lovers with the outside world.

I looked around the Beach, where with fingers intertwined, on the soft moist sand, there were promises being made of seeing each sunset together for the rest of their lives.

I reached Marine Drive where the lights playing in dark were ensuring a bright future ahead irrespective of the hardships.

I came across restaurants, where the gleaming candles at dinners were witnessing several proposals amidst the romantic tunes set by their hearts.

Seeing all this made me miss you even more. As always I expected you to come out of nowhere. You should have obviously been there, but you were not.

I missed all those whiles when I used to wait for this day to arrive, when you made it special for me, when despite your busy routine you managed getting time, when a surprise used to always be in store ahead, no matter what. Those were the days, which I wanted to re-live. I longed to see you, to hear your passion towards the day, to laugh on your antics. But no matter how much my heart craved for it, this didn't change the bottom-line for me, you were still not there.

Did you not realize your importance in my life, or is it that now there are better things for you to look out for?

Did you not think even once of the implications it would have?

Did you never realize my endless wait for you?

I guess not.

Yes, I knew the answers to all my questions, but inspite of it I crazily pressed the buttons on my TV remote in a hope of getting your glimpse somewhere, out of the blue.

My soul stirred for you to appear before me.

I kept changing channels, you ought to be somewhere! Somewhere on a news debate over Valentine's Day, somewhere teaching the Indian culture to the Generation X, somewhere helping India hit the international news with continuous words of protests, somewhere telling how India is aping the West. Somewhere, somewhere! But all efforts in vain.

I am well aware O' my Moral Police that you have Herculean tasks set upon your shoulders now.

You have paper articles to review, so as to ensure a maximum news sale.

You have fatal accusations to make upon the Government at the time of national crisis.

You have Adult Education to be imparted by forcing taxi drivers join Marathi learning schools.

You have regions and religions to be scrutinized.

You have celebrities to be shown that they aren't any more than a commoner.

You have people to be bullied.

You have so many movies to be seen and seen again to spot the sinful Bombay word.

Yes, I do understand all of it.

But I would still like to remind you of your dedication towards love which you have inherited from your worthy ancestors, and which you have been so efficiently portraying since time immemorial. It was this unconditional commitment that gave you all that you deserved; the name, the fame and the reputation.

The noble cause of shattering the gift galleries so as to make sure people don't turn materialistic and thus graciously keeping their emotions alive.

The grave responsibility of getting lovers' faces blackened to protect their identities.

The hard work involved in making them run for their lives, just so that their love was not caught in the brutal media frames.

The preparations required in making couples even marry each other so that their parents don't come and play villains!

Ah, such is the nobility of the sacred devoted soul!

The list is certainly endless.

Like so many years, yesterday, I was apprehensive about what lies next in your kitty of aforementioned innovation, but my hopes were shattered when I saw you busy in appealing to the youth of this nation to not watch some movie which deals with a silly global issue. In spreading this magnanimous message across the country, you forgot that it's THE day. People have been waiting for you since exactly one year, and that they expect a lot out of you.

I know it very well that your responsibilities towards the country are too enormous for me to even count and mention, but I would like to confess this from the depths of my heart, that no matter how much of love I see around in the city...my Valentine's Day would never be the same without you, your demonstrations, your words and your such concern towards humanity and Indian traditions!

With utmost love, sincerity and a positive hope of having a compensated blast the next V-Day!

Saimah.